Me: "I cant have carbs, dairy or sugar...right now!"
Concerned co-worker: " Oh goooosh I'm sooooo sorry....what are you eating-are you ok?"
This made me giggle.
Let me make myself very very clear- I AM NOT HUNGRY...I am actually very satisfied.
Food Addiction is a serious thing, so if you are battling it THIS IS NOT ME MAKING FUN of it-it's me sharing my thoughts and experiences on that topic...because I can relate.
I eat to make myself happy. Not for fuel.
A bunch of taco bell puts me in a good mood.
The smell of Subway bread makes me excited...and happy.
I have gotten bad news before and INSTANTLY gone and ordered a pizza and ate it all.
This is a doozie: (not a double doozie cookie-justa a doozie):
I have eaten food ON THE WAY to a restaurant before and still ordered a full meal...I wanted to feel MY KIND OF FULL...not just the normal full.
I think about food every second of the day.
I have a problem.
Well-I went to a wellness Dr. and a physiologist and as she talked about ME and MY issues...I of course was thinking:
"UGH I should have eaten something HUGE on the way...here..."
They were creating this PLAN for me....
First I had to Detox...with Medicine...No sugar, No Carbs and No Dairy....
they want to find out if I have any food allergies....
"Uh NO WONDER I swell (get fat) when I eat... YES! Ok well can I go now??"
They never laughed at my JOKES.
The do however-email, text and call me almost hourly!
The first 4 days of this were so sad.
I was actually sad.
I have had 2 break-ups in my life and I'm not sure I cried as hard as I did when I had to break up with my BEST FRIENDS Carb, Sugar AND Dairy.
I cried in my bed....with the lights off. (Lifetime Movie style)
I literally had to put my armor on every morning and fight against this.
I had body aches....shakes....and a 4 day headache.
It was dark around me.
I wanted popcorn.
Day 4 as I was getting into my car (yes I had to work through all this) my sister called:
"Hey how's it goin...?"
I yelled at her....I cried....I actually had to pull over my car....This was a fight that i would lose.
She gave me strict instructions:
1. You will take breaks at work.
2. You need to eat as much MEAT and VEGGIES as you can.
3. Pray
4. Take walks around your parking lot and look UP.
5. YOU WILL win this....
She has a way of making you listen...all of a sudden I felt safe. I felt strong.
The next day....OH THE NEXT DAY....
I felt so different...the Drs. said my 5th day would be my worst-NOT WITH GOD....! I felt 'in control' I prepared my food and took walks and just loved myself for even trying!
Today I feel good. I have sad moments...but I think of Jesus and all the things He did for me and how sad He must feel when I go to food and NOT Him.
I am a work in progress.
