funk's suck.

You that time in a relationship when you DON'T get the "good morning text", or he doesn't compliment your new hair color?

You still like each other but it's just not the same.

Well I woke feeling like that way about running and being healthy. I woke up tired.
I woke saying to myself, "Why do I have to try so hard....when will this NOT be the first thing I think of....Don't eat bad today. When are you going to run this week? You will gain all that back. Does God get tired of me asking for help? look at your hair..."

I am seriously afraid of what I know I am capable of. I know that I could eat bad today and not run ever again. I know that people would still love me. I know my sister would still be proud of me, because I would just do something else (easier) to make her proud.

I woke up in a funk.

Funks scare me.

I ate cereal WITH SUGAR ON IT.

I am not doing this to make people proud of me, I am doing this so I can live longer...! Kyleigh at one of the 5k's said something to me that really just stuck with me:
She said, "Mom you are going to be calling my kids saying COME on Jr. lets run another 5k...if your grandma can do it you can...." we laughed. BUT it's true and its what I WANT.

When you get in a funk what do you do?

If you know me you know I prayed FIRST...but then I closed my eyes and pictured my life like a movie-you know that part in every movie. the music is loud and the calendar numbers show and the main character changes...kinda fast. Sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad.

I feel a little better.
Just struggling today.

"Don't be SKERRED...."

My knees are hurting.

My ankles ache.

My hips are in pain and by the way as Shakira would say: "my hips don't lie."

I am not nervous about actually running anymore, I am actually nervous that my body will stop working. I have actually cried over this. SO, I pray.

I pray while I stretch.

Some may think, "Man that runner over there has 3 cheerleaders in HER MIND and she channels them right before each run...or is that chick talkin' to me...?"

I pray over my ankles. While touching each one I ask God to help them the way He helps me....Keep them strong Lord, I apologize that I have put so much weight on them and I promise Him that I am trying to lighten the load. I thank Him for every ache-because THAT means I can feel and I am not doing anything to deaden the pain.

I touch my hips. I tell Jesus that I love every inch of my hips, I tell Him I am sorry for ever talking bad about them I thank Him for my rhythm. (I think having rhythm helps me run) I ask Him to help them move at the exact time they are supposed to. I ask Him to remind me gently, that my Mom has broken hers and I have not.

I grab my knees. I say "LOOK knees....I 'kneed' you and I know you have a lot of pressure on you to make this 3 mile run happen....BUT you HAVE a JOB to do....I will make sure during my next pedicure...YOU get all the attention and NOT my toes....Amen"

Praying works.

I will not be scared of my own body and the powerful things it does. I will use every inch of it to glorify Him.
I will put extra lotion on my freckled skin.
I will use sunscreen.
I will rest when I should rest and run when I have committed to it.
Jesus needs me as much as I need Him. He needs this body to be healthy because it protects this heart that pumps for Him. These eyes that see where He needs me. This mouth that won't shut up about Him. This hair....that...is just cute. He needs my feet so can go where He needs me. He needs my ears so I can hear Him.

So I will continue to pray.
Romans 7:6